This is the final part of my historical journey from venture capitalist to life coach. While in part 3 I shared the challenges and difficulties of making a significant life change, this post shares one of the benefits of doing the hard work. There are now periods of time where I feel completely aligned, where I KNOW I’m on the right path and living the life I was meant to live.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010 at 1:47pm
I LOVE to dance. Whether it’s swinging with my daughter at concerts in the park or bringing high energy movement to a local club, I love to move my body to music. One of my favorite places to really let go and dance is at Burning Man (http://www.burningman.com/) and regional BM-inspired events around southern California. These are a home for me. The music is high energy and nonstop and it’s a place where I feel no judgement from others, where everyone is having fun their way and encouraging others to do the same. At these events I can let go of dancing for others or dancing for show and just move the way I want to move. Some times I’m flitting around the dance floor meeting new people, connecting with others who are also finding their joy in the music and the energy. And other times it takes on a meditative quality for me — a time for me to turn inward and experience my body being fully connected to the music.
Last weekend was just such a time. It was early Sunday morning at the Elysium Midsummer Festival (http://elysiumfestival.org/). After a fabulous night hanging out with good friends, talking, laughing and connecting, we’d decided to try to settle into some sleep before packing up and heading home later that day. The sky was starting to get light, but the beats were coming in waves from the main stage — the night wasn’t done yet. As I curled up to settle into sleep, my foot wouldn’t stop tapping to the beat. My body was telling me the weekend wasn’t over and like the magic flute of the pied piper, DJ Brutus was calling me to the dance floor. Before I even realized I’d left my bed, I found myself dancing hard in front of the intense sound system at the main stage.
In a sunrise set, there is always enough space on the dance floor for me to dance with everything I have and I easily fall into my favorite freeform energetic dance style. There is enough space that I can jump and bounce and run and fling my arms wherever they want to go. It’s at times like these that I am fully alive. I lose myself in the music, bouncing, jumping, spinning, arms circling — I can close my eyes and let the music move my body. And the DJs were still hitting it hard that morning — the music building up to crescendo after crescendo — each one pumping me with more energy, more flow, more movement. Sweat started pouring from my head and from my chest. I no longer had any feel for time as I lost myself in the movements of my body and the opening of my soul to the energy all around me. There wasn’t a me anymore, I felt completely connected with the music coming down, the aliveness from the century old oak trees and the positive vibes of the people around me. I was completely connected.
As the sun broke above the canyon edge, it created dappled spotlights on the dancefloor. I turned towards the light and felt the awesome power of the sun. Then I heard a voice from deep within me, “I am living the life I want to live. I am being the person I want to be.” And I was hit by this incredible emotional surge that started from the base of my spine. My movements took this energy and spread it up through my body and it grabbed hold of my heart. And as the waves reached my head I felt tears explode from my eyes. This intense joy and lightness came to me from everywhere. Tears mingled with sweat dripping from every part of my body and the energy fed more movement, more dancing, more connection. Again and again words came into my head. “I am who I was meant to be, I am living the life I was meant to live.” Over and over these waves of ecstatic energy came through me as my mind touched on how I blessed I am to be living a life of love and service. I am the husband, father and friend that I most want to be. I’m so blessed to have a wife who’s unconditional love carries me through every day. That I live in a world where I can shower my kids with love and be there for all parts of their lives. That I get to have a job where I help others find their own paths to joy and fulfillment. That I am open to deep connections with friends, where I can fully share myself and learn who they are at the deepest level. Over and over waves of appreciation for all the blessings in my life hit me — nonstop images of the people who love me for who I am.
I don’t know how long these ecstatic waves danced through me that morning. But the sun was well into the sky as a fourth DJ came in and brought with him some down tempo beats. As the music slowed, I brought my energy down to match the new rythyms and then moved off to my bed. While my physical form was exhausted, my soul was re-energized and ready to keep moving forward with my life, to keep doing what I’ve been doing, to keep following my passions and being of service. As I continue opening a new chapter in my life, I can’t think of a more incredible confirmation that I am on the right path.